Not just yet. Fact: The Penguins have had to climb out of a 2-game hole in at least one series every time they’ve won the cup.

But, man—Boston sure handed them their asses, last night. Probably the worst the Penguins have looked since the Philadelphia series, last season. In that series, though, they were scoring goals. Not so much, right now. Crosby’s frustrated. Kunitz looks hurt. Morrow looks old. Malkin is giving it everything he’s got, but, isn’t getting much support from his line. Iginla was able to play out of position against the Islanders and Senators and get by on raw skill, but, he’s not getting away with that against the Bruins. They’ve totally shut him down.

The blue line is tripping over it’s damn self. Letang is playing like he’s on meth. Martin hasn’t been strong. Break-out passes aren’t breaking out of anything.

But, they could have easily won game 1, were it not for 4 dongs off of goal posts. Game 2 was your typical Penguin post-season meltdown. You knew it was coming, at some point. So, simplify shit. Play some tight-ass road hockey, up there in bean town. Maybe—dare I say—roll 7 defensemen. Get Tyler Kennedy back in uniform. And, for the love of God, stick with Vokoun.

And, of course, hold onto your butts.

♫ Fred Thomas ► Corduroy River

A few thoughts on those Pittsburgh Penguins (since the last Penguin post I wrote was just a tad negative): Now that the Islanders series is done with, I actually feel pretty good—a lot better than I thought I would, after that first-round roller coaster. I mean, really, the Islanders were not a team with which to fuck. It’s been said a million times, but, they’re young and they’re fast, and that gives the Penguins’ system fits. They finished the regular season on fire, and they have an MVP candidate suiting up for them—and the Penguins still took them down in 6 (which I correctly predicted).

It should not be overlooked that 2 of the Penguins’ 4 wins against the Islanders were shut-outs. One in front of Fleury and one in front of Vokoun. That tells us that the Penguins can indeed play solid defense, when they put their minds to it.

The Penguin power play looked deadly. Bylsma’s found a fore-check in Kennedy and Vitale. (If those 2 start to gas themselves in round 2, how’s this for depth: Jussi Jokinen and Beau Bennett are in the press box.)

But, the story of the series was Tomáš Vokoun. He is, undoubtedly, the Penguins’ number-one goaltender, now. Who saw that coming? (Well, besides everyone.) He’s cool, he’s calm, he’s collected, he’s Czechoslovakian. He makes the routine saves look routine—which is something Fleury was struggling to do in games 1 through 4. His puck-handling skills saved his defensemen steps and took away the Islanders’ around-the-horn plays and dump-and-chase shit. Good stuff. Looking for more of the same from him, going into round 2 against the Senators.

About the Senators—I’m not too concerned about them. Not sure why. Just a feeling. The Islanders coming so hard only helped get the Penguins’ minds right. They’re poised for a battle, whereas, the Senators might be a step slow, coming out—they’re probably still grinning about killing off the Canadiens in 5 surprisingly easy games. Craig Andersen is worlds better in goal than Evgeni Nabokov was, but, the Penguins haven’t had any trouble scoring goals. They’ll score enough to win, every night. Aggressive fore-checking, aggressive back-checking, taking away Erik Karlsson, and constantly rolling 4 lines (all 20 skaters ought to log double-digit minutes, every night) should sling-shot the Penguins into the Eastern Conference Final to take on either the Bruins or the Rangers (either of whom they should destroy).

So, a series prediction for Penguins/Senators? I wanted to stay away from Penguins in 6, since that was my call for round 1, but, that leaves me with Penguins in 5 or Penguins in 7. The Senators likely won’t roll over in 5, and I’m never emotionally prepared for suffering through a game 7, so, I’ll go Penguins in 6, again.

♫ The The ► This is the Day

All right, so they’re not doomed, just yet. The series is tied. Coming back to Pittsburgh. Win 2 on home ice, and the Penguins will be limping into round 2.

What in the butt-fuck is going on, though? A lot, I’d say. Some thoughts: I think Dan Bylsma will be lynched in Market Square if Fleury so much as sniffs the net on Thursday night. It has to be Tomáš Vokoun. Yes, the defense has been shaky (enormous understatement) in front of Fleury. And the turn-overs have been killer. And the Islanders have scored on some ridiculously lucky dick bounces. But, Fleury’s head is a mess, right now. Simple as that.

And what did they sign Vokoun for? They signed him to give Fleury a lighter workload in the regular season (and he did that) and to step in if Fleury took a massive, steaming dump on the post-season. Well, here we are. They have to go to Vokoun. No-brainer. Vokoun is 3-0 against the Islanders, this year. Hopefully, the goaltending change wakes the rest of the team up, too.

I say, if Vokoun starts and shuts the door—allows only 1 or 2 goals—and they win game 5, I think you keep riding Vokoun. Like I said, that’s what he’s here for.

As far as the rest of the line-up, I can’t believe I’m saying it, but, Crosby and Malkin need to be playing less minutes. Why? Take Jussi Jokinen. He was a beast, down the stretch, playing 17-19 minutes a night. Last night? He only logged 7 minutes. Come on! I know a lot of it is about match-ups, but, Jesus Christ. Come on.

Could be time for a Tyler Kennedy sighting, as well. Add some speed to that forecheck.

Malkin is a mess, right now, too. His head is about as fucked as Fleury’s. Watching him circle around the ice like a sad puppy, last night, looking for the medallion that fell off his necklace, Islanders fans giving him the business—he looked so fragile.

Lines are all wrong, in my opinion, as well. Should be:

Iginla/Crosby/Dupuis. Because Iginla’s been invisible at right wing. He needs to be on the left side to be effective. And he came here to play with Crosby. Let him.

Kunitz/Malkin/Neal. Last year’s killer line, reunited.

Morrow/Sutter/Jokinen. Morrow and Jokinen showed some chemistry in the regular season, and Jussi needs more ice time.

Kennedy/Adams/Cooke. Kennedy adds that speed on the forecheck, like I said. Adams kills penalties to death, as usual. And cooke would be interchangeable with Glass—whoever they think is the more effective forechecker/hitter/penalty killer. Hell, Glass may be a better option. Less penalties.

But, what the Hell do I know?

This series has become a huge moment in Penguins history. If they lose, it could very well tear apart the very fabric of this team. Bylsma would likely be canned. The trade Malkin rumors might not be rumors, anymore. Free agents like Kris Letang and Pascal Dupuis, who may have taken less to stick here, before, may split for a fresh start elsewhere. Hell, win or lose this series, turning to Vokoun will have punched Fleury’s ticket out of town. Remember—Eric Hartzell, the best goaltender in college hockey, this season, is just chilling on the Penguins payroll. Vokoun and Hartzell could be 1 and 1A, next season, as they transition to the Eric Hartzell era.

But, first things first. Win 2 on home ice. Take it in 7. Or, better yet, win games 5 and 6 with strong goaltending from Vokie and less idiocy in the neutral zone. Get out of round 1 and see what happens. There could very well still be a parade on the Boulevard of the Allies in June. This team is too God-damn talented for that to be out of the question.

♫ Kadaver ► Liquid Dream